(Staff: Belgium / Justice & Road Traffic)

This week, Belgian journalists witnessed another series of hilarious defences before police judges. From a motorcyclist caught at 228 km/h who blamed confusion between miles and kilometres, to a driver who claimed he only drank after crashing into a fence, the courts faced an almost unmatched level of creativity. Here are the most memorable cases.

Last week, Flanders’ police courts once again heard defences that provoked both amusement and exasperation among magistrates. HLN journalists collected some of the most surprising excuses from drivers caught breaking the law. From confusion over units of measurement to unusual medical explanations, here is the full list.

The 228 km/h motorcyclist: “The speedometer was in miles”

A man appeared before the Sint-Niklaas Police Court after being recorded at 228 km/h on the E34 motorway near Sint-Gillis-Waas. His lawyer offered an unusual defence: “My client was confused. The speedometer on his new motorcycle was still set to miles per hour, not kilometres per hour.” Even if that were true, the actual speed would still have been around 140 km/h, well above the legal limit. The judges did not seem impressed.

“I only drank after the accident”

A young man from Nazareth-De Pinte fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into a fence. After the accident, he walked home, but police found him later. A test showed 1.8‰ alcohol in his blood. Before the Ghent court, the man claimed he had not been drinking before driving: “I wasn’t drinking. I was in shock after the accident, which is why I only started drinking after I got home.” The judge described the behaviour as “crapuleux”.

“I never saw the red lights”

Another driver was caught running a red light at an intersection on the E34 in Kaprijke. His lawyer, Laura Vandaele, argued: “It can happen to anyone. He did not run the red light deliberately. He even says he never saw the traffic lights.” The court remained sceptical.

“Well, aren’t you a clever one?” – the judge’s irony

At the Halle court, a man was stopped with 0.73‰ alcohol in his blood, equivalent to roughly three or four drinks. He was on his way to pick up his girlfriend. Judge Johan Van Laethem reacted sarcastically: “Well, aren’t you a clever one? You go to pick up your girlfriend and then have another drink too.”

“I was provoked on the road”

Another man was accused in Huizingen of urging other drivers to speed up, overtaking without signalling and driving too close to the vehicle in front. His lawyer claimed: “My client wants to point out that it was not his intention to challenge anyone to accelerate. On the contrary, he was the one who was provoked on the road.”

“I have a knee problem, I wasn’t drunk”

In Jabbeke, police stopped a car making a strange noise because a tyre had come off the rim. The 58-year-old driver tested positive for alcohol and showed signs of intoxication. The defence nevertheless disputed that he was drunk: “The facts are not contested, but the intoxication is. My client is a large man and has knee problems. That is why he walks badly, not because he has been drinking.”

“I had gastric bypass surgery, so I absorb alcohol faster”

A 45-year-old woman from Bruges was convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol. Her lawyer explained: “She had to drive because the friend who was supposed to be the designated driver backed out. In addition, she has had gastric bypass surgery, which makes alcohol absorb faster and raises the concentration.”

“My friends sent me to get drugs”

A man from Dendermonde appeared in court after driving under the influence of drugs. His lawyer said: “The man was sent by friends to West Flanders to bring drugs to Lebbeke.”

Public reactions

Readers were quick to react. One joked: “228 miles per hour means 30 km/h, right?” Another wrote: “I think being a police judge must be a relaxing job.” A third summed it up: “If you’re wrong, admit it and accept the punishment. These ridiculous excuses only make everything more complicated.”

Conclusion

Police courts remain places where reality can be stranger than fiction. From confusion over units of measurement to invented medical explanations, drivers caught breaking the law sometimes seem willing to say anything to avoid a fine. But these cases show that judges have heard every story imaginable – and are rarely impressed.